Skip to content

Thy Call Lord by Sr Suzan Guntabid FSIC

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways, said the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so is Mine higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55: 8-9)

Memory refreshes, recalling the moment when I was searching for the direction of my life. Argument occurred often between my God and me in time of prayer. 1001 questions nesting and raging in the mind. Stringy was the situation especially when I was unable to fathom the meaning of my life’s adventure. Every plan met a dead end.

Sr Suzan with students in Datuk Peter Mojuntin where she is currently teaching

For the second time, the reply of my interview to enter teaching college strayed from my original address. Every step of my life seems to lead me astray from the path I want to go through. I often wondered; what is the meaning of all these? My soul tossed restlessly. My mind engulfed in confusion. Yearning, why did you come to hit me when we were apart? A 1000 language of silence dumb stricken me. No. My heart wriggled … not me my Lord. Spare me. Call the other girls out there who are much better than me. Do not rob me of this love.

“… So is my word that comes out of my mouth: it shall not return to me idle, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it” (Isaiah 55: 10-11).  It turns out that my desire and effort to deny his voice of calling, failed finally. The more I protested, the more I rejected it persistently, the stronger the calling gripped and brock my heart. Eventually, I had to surrender and bow to His plan. “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will return” (Job1: 21).

I know that God never promised there will always be sunny sky in this life. Neither has He promised there would not be stormy seas. Jesus said, “Take up your cross and follow me” (Matthew 11:12). But one thing is for sure, God promised that He will always be there for me all of my life. “I am with you always, even unto the end” (Matius28: 20). These words enflame my courage and enkindle my faith as I respond to His calling.

Sr Suzan with the youth in St Paul Dontozidon

Although there were times when I tried to follow the way of the Lord, I tripped and fell. There were also times when my steps deviated only to follow the instincts of the flesh. However, God’s love is so great to me. He is never tired of leading me back into his path. Up to now, the Lord never ceases to mould, carve and shape me in accordance with his original creation. In truth I knew that the Lord is Almighty, Most Gracious, Most Merciful, All Forgiving and Generous.

How could this heart not love all your goodness?

How could this heart not love all your kindness and compassion?

Thank God for the gift of Thy calling.

Thank God for the opportunity to serve you.

Thank God for the faithful Love.

Thank God because you are always there for me.

You are like the blood that flows in my veins.

You are like the heart that beats in the recesses of my body.

You are like the heart that beats in my chest.

Always faithful

Always there for me.

This, your merciful Calling

to work in your vineyard

like rain on arid land

watering and refreshing my soul.

Makes my life full of colourful beauty

like rainbow stripes decorating the blue sky.

No words can portray

the feeling of gratitude to you.

No hymn can express

my thanks to you.

Although this hand

capable of reaching the glittering stars in the sky,                              

Or count the thousands of miles of road                               

or collect every grain of sand.                                                               

But all of them are capable of nothing to express

His gratitude to thee, O Lord my God.

Hopefully this adventure

Forever allow myself to serve in thy field

Because everything is for you

Because everything belongs to you.


This Post Has One Comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top